Forgiveness: Good for your Health?

During his early days as a marriage counselor, psychologist Everett Worthington observed that many couples were holding onto grudges and grievances, and he recognized that they could only move forward if they forgave one another. This realization spurred him to dedicate decades of his academic career to studying the science of forgiveness.

Although forgiveness is often viewed as a concept within religious communities, Worthington has discovered that a non-religious approach to forgiveness can also be an effective strategy for improving one's health. He and his colleagues recently conducted a study across five countries, demonstrating that teaching, practicing, and achieving forgiveness can lead to better mental and overall well-being. Worthington, who is now a professor emeritus at Virginia Commonwealth University, remarked that "forgiveness can transform relationship dynamics and prevent many costly consequences that may arise in society. While we experience injustices on a daily basis, forgiveness remains a choice that individuals may or may not choose to make."

Worthington created workbooks that include exercises and prompts to help individuals explore their emotions of anger and resentment, and to assist them in releasing those negative feelings. The latest edition of the workbook, available for free download in five different languages, offers thought exercises that help individuals to explore specific instances of wrongdoing and to work through their negative emotions in order to become a more forgiving person in just two hours. The workbook is based on the most effective exercises utilized in previous research and has been condensed for ease of use.

A randomized study was conducted across Hong Kong, Indonesia, Ukraine, Colombia, and South Africa, with 4,598 participants. Half of the participants were asked to complete the workbook exercises over a two-week period, while the other half had the opportunity to use the workbook at a later time. The study revealed that the workbook facilitated forgiveness and significantly reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety in those who used it, in comparison to the control group. The study was published as a preprint timed with a forgiveness conference at Harvard University and is under review for publication in a medical journal.

Similar studies in the United States have also shown positive results, which Tyler VanderWeele, a professor of epidemiology at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and director of the Human Flourishing Program, states have significant implications for public health. Worthington understands those who may feel that forgiveness is unattainable in certain situations. His own faith in forgiveness was challenged when his mother was killed in 1996, and he had to grapple with his anger towards the perpetrator and the police whom he blamed for the lack of a conviction. Despite having studied forgiveness, Worthington found it difficult to forgive the police officers for their inconclusive investigation, but he was able to forgive the man suspected in the killing, who had a history of abuse and below-average IQ. This experience taught him that forgiveness and the pursuit of justice are not mutually exclusive. He also realized that sometimes forgiving smaller transgressions can be even more difficult.

Advocates of forgiveness training assert that it is essential to recognize when and where forgiveness is appropriate. For example, individuals in abusive relationships should prioritize seeking safety over forgiveness. Andrew Serazin, president of the Templeton World Charity Foundation, which contributed to the funding of the research, emphasizes that the science is conclusive in demonstrating that forgiveness is beneficial for the individuals who practice it. Forgiveness helps people to feel better and does not preclude seeking justice or facing consequences.

Worthington has a few simple steps to try to forgive. Firstly, they must decide to forgive. To stop dwelling on being wronged. To achieve this, he recommends the REACH method: Recall: Recall the hurt. Look at the incident in an objective way, and don't try to push aside your feelings. Empathize: Empathize with the offender - without excusing the action or invalidating your own feelings. Maybe the person was having a bad day or was raised in dire circumstances. Altruistic gift: Give the altruistic gift of forgiveness. Think about a time when you were rude or harsh, and recognize that everyone has shortcomings. Commit: Make a decision to forgive. You can write a letter that you don't send to help yourself make the commitment. Hold: Hold on to forgiveness.

Memories of the transgression or event won't change. But how you react to those feelings will.